So Chelsea are going to buy Rooney and no one else. Arsenal can’t sign Higuain because Real Madrid have put the price up to over £30m and say that Arsenal haven’t even put a bid in. Manchester United are going to buy Cesc Fabregas, and will get him because Arsenal can’t be bothered to put in a bid on their first refusal contract. Arsenal then go off in a huff and offer a deal for Liverpool worth far more than the Higuain deal, but not enough to get Suarez. Mourinho praises Chelsea’s youth policy. Athletico Madrid want to buy Santi Cazorla.

How much (if any) of this is true? Or should we remember that some club presidents have to appease their fans, some managers have to appease their owners, and some fans like to believe all the worst things possible about their own clubs, just to heighten their view that if only they, the fans, could be given control of the club, they’d sign all the best players, and they the current owners would jolly well have to let their players go.
Sadly, the press do often treat fans as if they are total and absolute idiots. According to that bastion of all knowledge, the Sun, Arsenal truly believed they had finalised a deal to sign Higuain, and were “stunned” to hear Real Madrid president Florentino Perez say that they’d only settle for much more money.

But the player wants to leave, so apparently the President is waiting for the player to change his mind, because Carlo Ancelotti believes there is a place in Real’s squad for Higuain.

As for Cesc, Barcelona know they will look fairly foolish if they sell him now, after all the fuss made about getting the man with Barcelonan DNA inside him. They are saying no go at the moment, and will likely as not give the lad another year.

No one at Barca is asking Arsenal if they want him back because they are not selling him – but next year, could be much more likely from what I hear, and that for four reasons.

First for Arsenal, with their buy back discount, Cesc will be cheap. Second, Cesc loves Mr Wenger and credits him with all his success. Third Cesc at Arsenal was close friends with Hleb and Flamini, and knows full well what has happened to their careers since leaving Arsenal. And fourth, Cesc knows he has not been a stunning success at Barca, and he wants one more go at proving his point. If he is stopped from doing that next season by being used as a sub, he’ll pull the plug himself.

However, there is one other issue. Cesc is also friends with Robin VP and that might well be the reason that the Man U stories are floating. Robin has, I think, mentioned it to a couple of journalists. Indeed Robin is saying anything he likes, because he has four years left on his contract, and he’s 31 years old. All the cards are in his hands.

If we want to see just how dopey all this is, remember also that most clubs in Spain are living on the financial edge – which is a good enough reason on its own why Cazorla is not going to Athletico Madrid. And we have to remember that Barcelona themselves have significant financial problems – which is why they need to sell Cesc at some time. As for Real Madrid everyone is waiting to see what happens about their land deal with the Madrid government – a deal that saw the club swap a bit of useless land at the edge of the city for the same amount of land next to their stadium. Now that can’t be legal, can it?

In the midst of all this there is the situation about Thomas Vermaelen who will be unavailable at least until October. Arsenal have two solid centre backs, and have two players who can play that position in Sagna and Miguel. They might go for one more, but I think possibly not.

So there it is; done and dusted. All the clubs are playing games with each other and everyone understands the role each person is playing as they negotiate exactly who gets whom. So everyone knows all this apart from Wayne Rooney who is described as “angry and confused”. Well, yes, he would be.